Awakening
by Lady Karasu
Summary: This is a first person with Meryl... Vash has a nightmare. I can't think of any other way to put it


Of Sword and Scythe - Fanfics - Awakening

Ok, this is my first ever fic in the first person please be kind, I'm new at this (Heck, I tend to refer to MYSELF in the third person, so you know it was tough lol) I'm really not sure where this came from So I'm just gonna let my muse go with it, and be glad I got a fic out of the deal lol  Oh, and obviously, Trigun does not belong to me... If it did, it would have lasted longer (Kenshin! Kenshin!) ;-}  
C&C welcome, as always. Please enjoy.  
  
~Lady Karasu  
'Spork no Miko'  


**Awakening  
**

I'm not entirely sure what woke me.For a few long moments I stared up at the dark ceiling as my sleepy mind tried to figure out what had interrupted its dreams.I think it was a sound but I couldn't quite place it now.

I turned my head to inspect the room, but there didn't seem to be a source for the disturbence.Moonlight's gentle fingers touched most of the room, lending an ambient bluish light to everything.Milly slept peacefully in the bed across from mine; not even a whisper escaping her as her chest gently rose and fell.No, the noise didn't seem to be from here

Perhaps it was..?

There it was again. Just a muffled sound

That woke me up? I sat up and shifted on the bed quietly, wondering how something so faint had managed to pull me from my dreams. Sighing, I pulled my legs around to stand, but in a moment of recoil snatched my feet back from the floorboards.They were shockingly cold on my sleep-warmed body.I sat there for a few moments, debating on whether or not to just go back to sleep, but something was nagging at the back of my mind.Some feeling that I can't quite describe.With a small sigh of resignation, I steeled myself for a chill, and gingerly touched the floor again.Gratefully, it wasn't quite so bad this time.

Rising, I padded as quietly as I could manage to the door adjoining our room with Vash's.A loose board creaked a loud protest at my weight and I froze, hoping I didn't wake anyone.After waiting a span of heartbeats I moved again, stepping lighter than before.Carefully, I crept up to the door and listened.

Yes, that's where the sound was coming from.Strangely, I realized that disturbance came with that realization.Suddenly I felt the need to check on our resident pain.I tested the knob, and found the door to be unlocked.

Now in retrospect, I realize it was probably _not_ the most intelligent thing in the world to sneak into the room of what was probably the most skilled gunman of our timeparticularly with half the planet after the bounty on his head.[Nor was it likely to gain me any points with him.]But at the moment, curiosity won over caution, so I moved on.

I nudged the door gently, and it opened on silent hinges.Thanking whatever fates had chosen to be kind to me tonight, I cautiously poked my head into the room, wary of flying projectiles of any sort

I could make out Vash's form where he still slept. He lay in the middle of the bed, curled in on himself; clutching his pillow to his chest, yet still managing to rest his head on one corner.

I could just make out his features in the pale moonlight

As I looked him over, I could almost feel my heart clench in my chest.His facethere was a look of such overwhelming sorrow playing on his features... it was so raw and pained, and yet somehow, subdued and helpless at the same time.

I don't think I'll ever forget that look. 

I could tell from there, that he was crying quietly.The light that reached into the room played on the moist tracks running down his face.His body moved with the uneven breathing patterns that caused.

It had stopped me dead cold.It's not as if I had never seen him cry before, or even look sad, but somehow, with his features relaxed by sleep and his guard down- the look on his face physically hurt me.I could feel my heart wretch with every muffled sob he took.A few moments later, I felt something tickle my cheek.Reaching up to brush it away, I found sympathetic tears of my own.

I found myself moving forward automatically.I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but I went with the feeling.My wandering feet carried me to the head of his bed, just above where he lay.I could swear I heard him whimper a name something like Lem?Or Rem perhaps?

Even now, I'm not sure why, but I found myself slipping into the open bedspace above him. Curling my legs beneath myself, I tentatively reached out and took his shoulders.I pulled him half into my lap, cradling his head and shoulders.It just felt like the right thing to do.

He never awoke, but on some level he apparently noticed me.He shifted in my lap, nuzzling his face into my stomach and reaching an arm around my waist in a sleepy half embrace.I froze for a moment, suprised perhaps? I don't know, but the feeling passed. I smiled down at him and gently stroked back his bangs.

Its funny how much of a change that simple act had for him.After only a short time like this, he seemed completely calm.The features on his face, no longer tight and pained; he now slept evenly; nothing but a content look on his beautifully innocent face.

_Does he know how beautiful he is?_'I mused to myself, watching him sleep._Not his body, although contrary to what he may think, _I_ still think he's quite handsome._' I blinked. The realization of that thought took me back a bit. I shook my head again with a slight smile. '_Yes, he is handsome, but..._' I finished my original thought, ' _I meant for who he ishe has got to have the most beautiful soul I've ever seen_'

I smiled down on him, taking in that rare look of peace as I continued to gently stoke back his hair.I found myself whispering to him softly, Its alright now, I'm here with you.I won't let anything hurt you now

We stayed like that for most of the night.He finally slept soundly, and I simply held him.There was a strange contentment that came with that perhaps one day I'll understand it.

Some time after it had begun to get light, a thought occurred to me.I suddenly didn't think it would be a good idea for him to know what had happened here tonightit just struck me as something too personal to have to share; like I had intruded upon some sacred space he kept only for himself

In his case, somewhere like pergatory, but still...

No, he didn't need to know, but I think I may not have had the guts to face him in the morning either.I'm not sure how he'd react, or if I could take the questions or look I was sure to getSo for reasons both selfish and compassionate, sometime before dawn I removed myself from his delicate embrace, and returned to my own dreams.  


Morning came too soon, and with it, the memory of last night.Absently, I watched Vash scrambling to get his things together.Not that he really carried that much

Even as my eyes watched the activity in our shared room, my mind strayed back to the events of the night before. I'm not sure if I'll ever look at him quite the same way againI can't quite think him the fool I was always inclined to see him as.I may know no more about his past, but I definitely have a better grip on _who_ he is now. In the longrun, that may make my job harder...

I came back to myself to realize the object of my attention had stopped flying around the room and now stood watching me watch him. He had apparently noticing me standing in the doorway staring for all I was worth. I blushed slightly, turning my head in embaresment. How could I have let my mind wander like that? I looked back up with a touch of timidy I hadn't had in some time, to see if he still watched me. It was only fair really, but it made me decidedly uncomfortable. It was like he could see right through me... 

I somehow managed to force myself to meet his eyes, intent on apologising for my rudness- but the words died in my throat. He had looked at me as if her were weighing something in his mind, then, he gave me a precious gift.He smiled.Not one of those hollow smiles he shows the world, but a true unguarded smile.

I don't think I'll ever forget that look either.  


~Owari~

I'm not sure if I like how this came out... it seems likesomething's missing to me, but I can't put my finger on it. If you have any suggestions, they are welcome. ^_~ [karasu@ladykarasu.com][1] There's supposed to be a sequil to this... but I'm not sure where I'm going with it yet. My muse simply informed me that it's coming. ^_^  
www.ladykarasu.com

   [1]: mailto:karasu@ladykarasu.com



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